Love is blind. It is also hard of hearing, mute, and has a pronounced limp. People, however, are just as fickle and prejudiced as they were dozens of years ago. Which is why in this day and age where pretty much everything goes, there are still things that can be frowned upon. This includes some types of relationships like homosexual, interracial, and May-December romances. Let us discuss the most controversial of the bunch.
When I first heard of May-December romances, I thought, "Great! That will take the guesswork out of relationships." Then I learned what it really meant. For those of you just joining the program, May-December romance is when one partner is significantly older than the other. This type of relationship has its advantages and disadvantages, but what relationship doesn’t?
May-December relationship is no new trend. For centuries, men have lusted after, loved, and even married girls much younger than themselves. Girls as young as 12 were paired up with men 20 or 30 years older if the man could provide the family is a proper dowry. Those girls grew into women and went on to have affairs with young, buff guards and pool boys.
The May-December romance does have a bad reputation. This is primarily due to the fact that the most publicized affairs involve a married man or a 14-year-old Lolita, sometimes both. Some years ago Anna Nicole Smith became the poster girl for May-December relationships. Thanks to the media, most people think May-December relationships are tawdry affairs consisting of a young (usually buxom blonde) gold-digger and a 70-ish year-old man hooked up to a respirator. Comics use this as cheap joke material. If all else fails, make a Viagra crack or joke about Catherine Zeta-Jones doing schoolwork simply because she's involved with Michael Douglas.
Not all May-December relationships are made up of a married man and the babysitter or the unhappy widow and the pool boy. The number of unmarrieds has increased over the years as a result of divorces, speed dating, or incompatibility. It seems natural for consenting adults to search for love outside of their own age bracket.
How do you know if you’re in this sort of relationship? Some think a five-year age difference is a big deal, and it is if you’re under 18. If your beau was attending his 10-year high school reunion as you were graduating high school, then you’re probably in a May-December romance. Depending on your generation, another telling factor is to find out where your beau was when Kennedy or Lennon were shot or when Kurt Cobain killed himself.
There are studies linking May-December relationships with the mid-life crisis. There are reports that young women turn to older men in search of a lost father figure. Maybe it's a shock tactic, maybe it's a cry for help, or maybe two people fell in love in spite of the age difference.
Sex drive and maturity are two reasonable arguments for May-December pairing. We know that girls mature faster than boys do and men and women have differing sex drives. Older women, having realized what they missed out on by turning down the boys earlier in life, can appreciate the flexibility and the stamina of a young man. In turn, younger men can appreciate the sterility of an older woman. An ambitious young woman may find herself involved with an older man because the competitive edge is lessened with the gentleman’s well-established career. Older men fancy the younger women because, let’s face it, everybody likes young women.
There is something to be said for a couple growing up and growing old together. It certainly makes sense if you're on the family track. If you're starting a family, you want a partner to be your equal and be there for the children. Should a family not be on your to-do list, why dismiss a potential partner based on age when there are so many other flaws to look for in a person?
