I love this pen.
I love the way this dress fits.
Don’t you just love the new Backstreet Boys song?
It has come to my attention that we use the word "love" more than we possibly should. "Love" is used very loosely these days. This may be contributed to reverse evolution occurring among the general public, that we are reverting to cavemen status and our vocabulary seems to be disappearing. We use the word "love" to describe everything from that warm, happy feeling when a pair of pants fit well to having a good hair day to caring about a person. We use it to convey our attachment to something like a childhood Teddy Ruxpin.
I only express discontentment over this because it seems like "love" is losing its meaning. We’re not being as discriminate with the use of the word as we should. You say, "I love you" the same way you say, "I love my car." But most likely, you’re not going to be making out with your car later. If you are, well then that’s a whole other column on a whole other website. Perhaps it would be better to say, "Say, my car is swell" or "I care for you." Mix it up a little.
I’m also upset at how quick we are to say, "I love you" in relationships. And I say "we" because I’m just as guilty. Call me a hypocrite (just call me). But twelve year olds are uttering the phrase through braces at the bike rack after school. Twelve year olds don’t know about love. Some thirty year olds don’t know about love.
Now don’t get me wrong. Sometimes proclamations or quiet confessions of love are legit. But more often than not, it’s a cop out. We’ll use it to mean something else. He whispers it into your ear after a smoldering night of passion. He says "I love you," but he means "I had fun last night and I’d like to do that with you again for a while, but then I’ll want to move on."
Sometimes we say it out of obligation. She tells you over a romantic, candlelit dinner that she loves you. She looks at you expectantly. All you want to say is "Well, I think you’re pretty neat." But nevertheless you say it back, knowing that it will come back and bite you on the ass when you break up. "But you said you loved me!"
So this is what I’m saying, stop overusing love. Add it to the list of four-letter words you shouldn’t use.
I’m not advocating hate or that love is wrong. Love, when distributed properly, can be a beautiful and harmonious thing. My goal is to see that the distribution is corrected. We could probably prevent a lot of relationship problems by putting a ban on "love." Make it a point to not mutter those three potent words for the first three months. Allow yourself to be creative in expressing your true feelings. Buy a thesaurus and learn some new words. Here are a few phrases I think might work:
I think you’re great.
I adore everything about you.
(For the junior high crowd) I like like you.
You make me feel warm and gooey inside.
Eep opp ork ah-ah (that means I love you)
You don’t make me want to vomit at the sight of you.
Next week, we’ll get into a deep analysis of the wrongness of the phrase "I’ve never felt this way before." Until then, just say no to love.
